


how we found our feet

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Fluffy, M/M, daddy!Robron, getting ready for their little one, multi - chapter (not connected/continuous), the slightest of angst at times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:04:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: snapshots into the journey robert and aaron take as they prepare to become dads





	1. buildings cribs with wrong instructions

**Author's Note:**

> this will be added to whenever i get those tingly daddy!robron feels !!!

 

Robert is stubborn, more stubborn than Aaron gave him credit for. He's decided to tackle a crib by himself, told Aaron that he doesn't need any help, not his, not Adam's, not Pete's. He could do it all himself apparently. That was three hours ago though and Aaron can't hide his frustration any longer as he climbs the stairs and watches his husband try and shove pieces of wood into slots as fail over and over again.

  
It's amusing, his frustration melts into the air and he approaches Robert gingerly.

  
"So, you alright there?" Aaron teases, kneels down beside his husband and rubs his back gently to try and coax something out of Robert.

  
It works, Robert raises his head and Aaron counts the lines on his forehead, there long ones and one little one. It makes him smile softly.

  
"This is _impossible_." Robert moans, peers around the room and then sighs. "Nothing _fits_ and I can't risk doing it wrong can I?" Aaron just blinks, lets Robert carry on because it's clear that he's not finished. "What if he falls out and hurts himself?" Aaron scoffs just a little and then bites his lip, sees that it's a genuine fear of Robert's.

  
"Listen," Aaron says, straddling Robert and moving the papers out the way for a second. "Jacob is going to be fine, I know you're nervous but it's going to be okay."

  
Robert nods slowly, breathes out and then frowns. "Oh we've decided on Jacob then have we?" He says softly, teasing a little.

  
Aaron nods eagerly, "Yeah we have, I like the name, it'll remind me of you whenever I tell him to stop doing things he shouldn't."

  
Robert laughs nervously, "Just like his dad then." He says, can't really believe it's all real, that they'll have a baby really soon and then everything will change.

  
Aaron kisses him softly, gets a little carried away and then he's laying over Robert who is flat down on the floor, too happy to tell Aaron to go away and leave him to finish.

  
Aaron starts stroking down Robert's chest seductively and then something catches his eye, it's the instruction manual that Robert's been using. He peers at it, losing focus on Robert's turned on body as he reads the top and then laughs.

  
"You idiot." Aaron says, rolls his head back and then bats at his husband's arm.

  
Robert sits up, runs a hand through his hair. "Eh?" He says, confused.

  
Aaron tries to stop laughing as he shows Robert the manual. "You've been looking at the wrong one you twat." He says, "This one is for the drawers." He points towards the white drawers.

  
Robert's eyes widen, "I must have got them mucked up when I took everything out." He says innocently, rubs his head a little in confusion still. "What a -"

  
"God, you can be so thick sometimes." Aaron says, grabs Robert's face and kisses him hard.

  
Robert smiles as he looks up at Aaron, "Learnt from the best haven't I Dingle?" He says, squeezing through Aaron's jeans and winking.

  
Aaron lets out a moan, smiles, "That's just the problem mate, you ain't learnt anything." He says, pushes Robert down on the floor again. "Don't worry though, I can teach ya a thing or two right now if you'd like."

  
Robert's body turns to jelly as Aaron pulls off his top and works on taking off Robert's too. "Smooth." He says dryly before kissing Aaron and feeling all the nerves he felt just slip away.

  
They'll sort the crib out later, together, with the bloody right instruction manual.

 


	2. Surnames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an argument about jacob's surname runs deeper than they ever expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for robertjacobsuggers who wanted to see something like this!

Robert twists his tie and watches it fall down on the bed, his neck aches and he can't stop thinking about how bad a day it's been for him at work. He can't stop himself from _over_ thinking and he finds himself wandering towards the nursery just to settle his thoughts and focus on something which makes his heart melt with joy.

  
He can't help but rub his thumb over the small teddies and soft furnishings, all finished off by Vic the other day. The walls are blue, well just the feature one, the others are a soft ivory colour and don't have the similar decoration of little fish scattered near the bottom.

  
Robert sighs, a hand reaching out and sliding across the small shimmering fishes before sighting Aaron by the door.

  
"Didn't know where you'd got to." Aaron says, knows to hang back a little because Robert had just about managed to kiss his head before disappearing up the stairs without a word.

  
Aaron steps forward, "Bad day?" He asks, sees Robert's face wince a little and then he nods.

  
"You?" Robert says, throws Aaron a look which tells the younger man he doesn't want to speak about himself.

  
Aaron pulls a face, picks up one of the teddy's in the coat and bites his lip. "Had Samson crying on my shoulder all afternoon."

  
Robert frowns, can't see a reason why and then leans his back on the wall. "Yeah?"

  
Aaron nods, his soft eyes grow even softer. "Some lads were giving him grief, calling him all sorts 'cause he's a Dingle."

  
Robert scoffs, "Oh I get it." He says, doesn't even know why he sounds so sure and why he's being so bold.

  
Aaron frowns. "I don't. He's just a kid." He snaps, puts the teddy down and then shrugs his shoulders. "He doesn't deserve to be called names just because -"

  
"It sorta comes with the name don't ya think?" Robert says, arms folded.

  
Aaron's eyes narrow and he sees the way Robert looks at him, like he really believes it. "Yeah?" He comes a little forward, finds it becoming easier to start an argument over this. "What comes with Sugden then?"

  
Robert's face falls, he dreads to think what Aaron could say and then he sees his husband move towards the door.

  
"Yeah well no son of mine will have to face that." Robert snaps, instantly regrets his own cruel words, the way he's speaking. He tries to blame it on a shit day but this is just him being him, pushing all his anger out on Aaron, someone who loves more than anyone else in the world.

  
Aaron freezes, his whole body rigid and then he turns. "What's that supposed to mean?" He argues, points to his chest. "He'll be my son too, and what if I want 'im to be a Dingle eh?"

  
Robert bites something back, lets Aaron advance towards him.

  
"Eh?" Robert hears Aaron say and when he looks up his husband is closer than before.

  
"Fine, whatever." Robert says, wishes he didn't go down this road, wishes he didn't bring them on to a topic he didn't want to discuss.

  
"Whatever?" Aaron says, "Is this some sort of joke to ya?"

  
Robert frowns, "No. Alright, just forget it. I didn't mean what I said." He tries to leave and then Aaron stops him.

  
"So this is how we discuss our son's surname is it? I say summat and you say whatever?" Aaron's words cut deep, make Robert feel even worse and then he's looking at Aaron's eyes, how confused they seem, and then his cheeks which are flushed and red with anger or frustration, or both.

  
"Well, what do you want me to say?" Robert blurts out, now he's snapping again because he's tired and Aaron's obviously not. It's always been a bad mix that.

  
"Your opinion maybe?" Aaron says dryly, folds his arms over each other and then sighs because he's tried to talk about this before but Robert's been so awkwardly closed off about it. "This isn't like getting married ya know, we can't just keep our names and be done with it."

  
Robert has a hand over his face, "Yeah ... I know." He says, huffs out a breath. "Can we talk about this some other time? I'm tired and cranky and I'm sorry for snapping but -"

  
"Is it 'cause you want him to be a Sugden?" Aaron pushes, blinks once, twice, waits for an answer.

  
"What _no_ ," Robert says, feels himself getting panicked and then sees the look on Aaron's face, "Yes, wait _of_ _course_ but - yeah, hold on." He's somehow in a state and Aaron sees it, presses a hand on his chest.

  
"Relax, I won't be angry if ya say you don't -"

  
"I do, but he wouldn't!" Robert shouts, instantly his shoulders slump and he hates himself for saying it aloud.

  
Aaron looks painfully confused and then he's frowning again, "Who wouldn't -" and then it hits him like a tonne of bricks and Robert's already sinking towards the ground in a little heap, shoulders bunched towards his chest.

  
"Shit." Aaron says, it slips out because he's nervous and there's not a lot he can actually say is there? He just crouches down and looks at his husband, "Rob, your dad -"

  
Robert looks up, through tears. "Wouldn't have been pleased with any of this let's just say." He rubs his head against his arm and sighs. "Just keep thinking he'd hate me even - even _daring_ to name a kid after _his_ name."

  
Something breaks inside of Aaron, he's seen it before, the flicker in Robert's eyes whenever someone mentions 'Baby Sugden'. He just never thought his was the reason, feels a pang of guilt hit him over and over again and it aches.

  
"Rob..." Aaron's hands come up towards Robert's hair and begin stroking through his locks. " _Robert_." He adds, feels his throat tightening a little.

  
Robert raises his head, water filling his eyes.

  
"It's not just _his_ name. It's yours." Aaron whispers, forehead pressed against Roberts. "Yours." He repeats like Robert needs to hear it desperately.

  
Robert licks his lips, nods. "I'd be carrying on the name, I'd be doing it but - but not in the way he'd want." He whispers, knows that he's being dramatic and emotional but it just pours out. "Not in the way it matters."

  
It comes out wrong and he sees the hurt flash over Aaron's face at his words.

  
"Not - no this is, it's perfect Aaron but -"

  
Aaron blows out a breath. "Not exactly traditional is it?" He whispers, decides to sit beside Robert against the wall.

  
Robert gulps. "I don't care about that." He adds, feels himself start to panic, start to think that Aaron doesn't know how much he loves what they're going to have.

  
"I think ya do." Aaron drops his head, looks saddened and then chews at his lips. "'Cause of ya dad." He adds, tilts his head.

  
Robert gulps. "I just - I want our little boy to - to feel like he belongs."

  
"He will." Aaron says quickly, "Doesn't matter what his surname is." He adds.

  
"Your family, at least he'll have half the village looking out for him, doesn't matter what people have to say." Robert gulps. "He'd be welcomed with open arms wouldn't he?" Robert watches Aaron nod slowly. "But every time I think about dad, I think about Jacob not getting that. Ya know if he was ... was still around."

  
Aaron starts to stoke Robert's hand and then kisses it. "He'd love our boy." He whispers, "Because whatever he thought of ya, he loved ya."

  
Robert wriggles and then looks at Aaron. "Do ya really think that's true?" He says, knows that Aaron didn't know his father, didn't know exactly who he was, he'd just heard stories like everyone else.

  
"I do yeah." Aaron looks serious suddenly and then he swallows. "So if - if him not, not wanting this, our boy to have his last name is what is makin' ya doubt yourself then -"

  
"Double barrel." Robert blurts out suddenly, sees Aaron staring at him a little shocked and then shifts on his feet. "Both. Sugden-Dingle."

  
Aaron's eyes flutter and then he feels Robert holding his hands.

  
"He's both of ours, it makes sense eh?" Robert says, "Besides, Sugden _and_ Dingle, no ones messing with our boy with that protection are they?"

  
Aaron nods his head. "Are ya sure?" He asks, "He'll be a Sugden still, I don't -"

  
"I want him to be." Robert says, a sense of hope in his voice and then his eyes flicker. "Jacob Sugden-Dingle sounds good to me." Aaron smiles, a hand pressed down Robert's chest and he can hear the older man's heartbeat. It's scarily comforting to know that it's beating faster than normal, to know how much this means to Robert.

  
"Yeah it does." Robert says slowly. "I'm sorry for being - for not telling ya how I -"

  
"I love you." Aaron says, "And I understand, okay?" He moves closer and then kisses Robert softly.

  
"Can't wait for him to be here, in our arms, in his room. It's the only thing that matters." Robert realises, Aaron inches away from him.

  
Aaron nods, "Jacob Sugden-Dingle." He whispers and then he sees Robert smiling. "What?" He asks, softly.

  
"Well I mean - what about middle names?" Robert says, teasing.

  
"That's for another night." Aaron rolls his head back and then helps Robert to his feet. "You need an early night."

  
Robert runs a hand over his face and then kisses Aaron's cheek. "I love ya, I do."

  
Aaron smiles, "I know." He whispers before watching Robert leave their son's room and walk towards their own bedroom. "You can try and think of appropriate middle names if you'd like." He teases as he turns into the room and then stops, sights his husband sprawled out in the bed, already nearly asleep.

  
Aaron laughs, takes Robert's clothes off gently, leaves on his underwear and then pulls the covers over him.

  
He'll think of middle names by himself then, he thinks, hand gently stroking Robert's arm and happy with the break through he made with Robert just now.

  
Jacob Sugden-Dingle, he thinks before suddenly raising an eyebrow. "Oi, how comes Sugden comes first?" He suddenly realises and then he just about manages to see Robert's small smirk appear on his face and then fade, quickly replaced with a soft snore.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the conversation was realistic, come find me on tumblr - @littlelooneyluna


	3. car seats are difficult

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaron decides he hates robert's poxy car after having trouble fitting in the car seat for the baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy <33

 

“Will ya just _stop_ tryna cram it in!” It’s Robert’s voice, tight and wound up as he tries his hardest to enjoy the view of Aaron’s arse, wriggling around as he attempts to fit the car seat into Robert’s flash car.

 

Aaron turns around, frowning, hot and bothered as he sees Robert standing there in his normal position, hands on hips looking pristine. “You wanna try it then?” He asks, hears silence as a reply and turns back round again.

 

Robert’s practically wincing as he watches Aaron continue to shift and push the little car seat down onto the leather seats which he can already see wearing away from Aaron’s brute force.

 

“Why the hell have ya got such a _poxy_ car.” Aaron huffs out, decides to actually get inside the car and hope something clicks into place as he attempts to adjust the seat once more.

 

Robert smirks, leans down and for a second, just a second, he’s reminded of their first time, in the garage, Aaron sprawled out in a car and Robert bending down by the door. It feels like a lifetime ago, makes Robert go dizzy as he thinks about the fact that he’s watching the same boy try and fit a car seat in his car for their son.

 

“You didn’t seem to mind it much when you were bent over it?” Robert licks his lips, watches Aaron’s hands go all shaky and he loses concentration for just a few seconds. “Besides, this car? It’s cool.” He adds, flushes pink a little because Aaron knows what he’s trying to say.

 

“Oh, so you’re gonna be one of the _cool_ dads are ya?” Aaron says, abandons hope and tilts his head a little so he can look at his husband who is still hovering by the door.

 

Robert nods, shuffles himself into the car and smiles. “Course, Jacob’s gonna _love_ this car, I can already tell.” He looks almost like a little boy as he speaks, so full of excitement and happiness and it just radiates out of him completely.

 

It warrants a kiss from Aaron and then another for good measure.

 

“Yeah, he is.” Aaron whispers, bites his lip as he thinks about the possibility of having him home by next week. The due date is only in four days and it’s mad how quickly it’s all come around, despite the constant updates Ruby cannot help but give them.

 

“Every time I think about him coming home with us I can’t believe it, it’s just mad.” Robert says, looks over at Aaron. “Doesn’t seem real yet."

  
Aaron’s eyes flutter and then his stomach flips just a little as he holds Robert’s hand. "It will, once we’re driving home and we see him sleeping in the back seat.” He just images it, feels a warm glow hit his cheeks at just the thought.

 

Robert scoffs, “Yeah if we ever get it in right.” He says, “I mean this car was hardly meant for car seats was it?” He laughs, knows his words hold deeper meaning because he was twenty nine when he bought it and not one thought in his had revolved around it becoming a ‘daddy car’.

 

“Nah it was meant for speed racing and blow jobs wasn’t it?” Aaron laughs and then kisses Robert’s head, “None of that anymore.” He says, then starts stroking Robert’s hand. “That’s alright, isn’t it?” It’s insecurity that seeps through, makes Aaron go all jittery because Robert’s changed so much in his life for Aaron and he can’t help but think one day Robert will say enough is enough.

 

Robert nods, “Of course it is.” He whispers, then turns towards the car seat, misses the way Aaron completely relaxes. “This, you, it’s all that matters to me now.” He adds, “For the first time in … for the first time Aaron I feel like I belong somewhere for the rest of my life."

 

Aaron’s eyes flicker, he feels exactly the same and he can’t do anything other than nod his head slowly. Then he hears the sound of something slotting and clicking into place and Robert looks so pleased with himself that Aaron just can’t help but smile at him.

 

"Done, easy.” Robert says, rubbing his hands together and then kissing Aaron hard. “Well thank me then.” He whispers, hands exploring Aaron’s body and then looking up at him.

 

“My hero.” Aaron whispers before grabbing Robert’s shirt and kissing him hard, again on the lips, realising that they won’t get to spend hours kissing in cars for much longer, well not without a little audience of one anyway.  
  


 


	4. painting it blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaron and robert paint their son's room and discuss aaron's deep rooted insecurities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluffy fluff is fun ;)

 

There's paint everywhere except the walls, it's scattered across the floor, across the storage boxes.

  
Robert's concentrating though, has his tongue sticking out as he paints delicately over the small edges near the ceiling and dons a pair of old dungarees which Adam owned and just had to offer his best mate once he realised that Robert was doing the nursery and needed something to wear.

  
Aaron clears his throat and soaks in the image in front of him, Robert's got blue paint across his cheek and it's already dried so there's no way of Aaron getting it off easily, he'll let it stay there he thinks as he leans by the doorway, admiring the boyish way Robert's hair is flat against his forehead.

  
"You alright there?" Robert says, notices that his husband is not getting stuck into the whole painting idea as much as he is. "Can't help but notice that you're doing ... nothing." He puts the paintbrush down, settles it on top of the paint can and then looks up at Aaron with a smirk on his face.

  
"Just admiring the view." Aaron says, all shy, all red cheeks and a dazed look of warmth spreading across his face.

  
"Of what?" Robert scoffs, looks down at his hands and then the mess around him. "Me actually missing the whole point of painting walls and not everywhere else." He says, misses the way Aaron looks at him as he drops his head.

  
"No actually, you in those dungarees." Aaron says, licks his lips and then comes closer towards Robert. "I'd rip them off ya right now if you weren't covered in paint." He says, feels himself tingle all over and then he sees Robert's eyes brighten just at the thought.

  
It's mad, to think that after all these years they still have this insane spark between them, this buzz of energy which just makes them crazy for each other. They're both standing in their soon to be son's room and yet it's like they're just two teenagers painting a spare room whilst the parents are out the way.

  
"Would you now?" Robert says before ruining the back and forth banter with a sneeze which makes Aaron laugh. "Must be all the paint fumes." He mumbles, feels Aaron rubbing at his arms and it makes him smile.

  
Aaron starts looking around the room, stunned by how quickly it's all coming around. "Can't believe we actually get to do this." He whispers and then swallows down his words with a small smile.

  
Robert sees through it though, frowns just a little. "What do ya mean, _get_ to do this?" Aaron shrugs, decides to ignore the question and starts to peel away the stencils of fish which they had picked out a few weeks ago. Robert's looming over him though, resting a hand on his shoulder and being able to see through everything, just like he always has been able to.

  
"What you said, I think I know what it was about." Robert stammers out, slowly shrinks down to the floor where Aaron is sprawled out, trying his hardest to focus his attention on the pesky peelings of these little sparkly fish which are supposed to adorn the walls. "I think," Robert blows out a breath, "You don't think we _deserve_ this."

  
Aaron snaps his head up, frowns almost instantly. "What?" He says quickly, turning and facing Robert who was now inches away from him. "You think I'd really think you don't deserve to have a proper family after your own childhood was just stopped?"

  
Robert closes his eyes, gets it immediately. When he opens his eyes he sees the way Aaron shrinks within himself, knows he's been projecting his own feelings and he doesn't know what to actually say until Robert's got a hand through his hair and begins kissing his head.

  
"You, Mr Sugden, deserve all the happiness in the world." Robert says softly, "And - just because of how you were raised, doesn't mean that - that because of that, you shouldn't expect to raise a child happily." He can somehow see the way Aaron's thinking but it's a dark and cloudy path and he needs to hear it from Aaron more.

  
Aaron lifts his head, pulls his attention away from the stickers and then sighs. "I know I should deserve it, but it almost feels like, like compensation, like all this was just - just out of pity or something."

  
Robert frowns, "Ya think Ruby would go through all this just because she feels sorry for ya?" He says, "I hear labor isn't that pretty." He adds, sees the way Aaron's starting to soften just a little at his words, he can see that his husband is seeing though his issues and looking towards a sense of logic.

  
Aaron sniffs, cranes his neck just a little so that he's leaning on Robert's shoulder and then he decides to just be honest, "And then - then I think about how damaged my own childhood was and - it's crazy how I get to give a baby a good start, it feels like it's - it's just mad how I get that." Aaron frowns, his own words confuse him and he realises that his demons are seemingly winning today despite how joyous it should all be.

  
"Aaron -" Robert tries but Aaron's already up on his feet, he's not cried, thank God Aaron thinks to himself and then he clears his throat.

  
"Right - uh, you keep going at it and I'll get started on sticking these up on the bits you've actually managed to paint over." Aaron says, sees that Robert wants to say something but doesn't know _exactly_ how to handle it. "I'm okay." He says, hands coming up and a smile on his face. "Honest."

  
Robert's eyes flicker, "Yeah?" He says, gulps a little hard and then Aaron smiles more genuinely and he has to warm just a little at it.

  
"Our little boy's going to be here soon." Aaron says, almost giddy, knows that his own insecurities won't take anything away from how happy he really is, deep down. "We're standing here, wasting our time talking about all this _stuff_ when - it doesn't matter, because -"

  
"Jacob's going to be sleeping in here by next month isn't he?" Robert's eyes brighten and it's contagious, Aaron looks mesmerised by the thought and then smiles.

  
"Yeah he is." Aaron says, watches Robert come towards him and then press a kiss to his lips.

  
"And you're going to be amazing, and you're going to deserve to have _this_." Robert reassures Aaron and it's everything that Aaron didn't even know he had to hear. He's thankful, so thankful that he does his usual thing and hides it all away with a kiss and a squeeze of the arm.

  
He thinks about it as they paint the room together, have to open the windows before Robert starts to hyperventilate, and Aaron watches Robert become even more delicate around the soft edges of the wall. He thinks about it as he carefully presses the colourful little fish down on the wall and watches then shimmer in the sunlight, his eyes widening in surprise as he misses the way Robert looks at him.

  
He thinks and thinks until he realises that when Robert told him he deserved to have _this_ , he didn't just mean a child, he meant love, he meant stability and joy and years and years of happiness to look forward to and for the first time in his life, he doesn't just _want_ to believe it, but _does_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a tragic death fic coming soon so yeah .. indulge yourself in fluff for now ;)


End file.
